Happy Sunday, guys! 👋 Welcome to Part Two of my weekly short fiction series. This series is all about celebrating our modern lives — the coming-of-age love, friendships, and other stories that happen along the journey. I’ve been inspired by the people I’ve met, the stories I’ve heard and things I’ve experienced on my own so far, and wanted to share them. Maybe they’ll transport you to another time or spark curiosity. But most of all, I hope you enjoy.
You can read Part One here if you haven’t already.
Part Two
I tucked my red hair behind my ear.
“My friends say that you’re bad news…” The loud synths from the song echoed in like a ghost. My body practically vibrated to it. I adjusted the tight straps on my black mini dress. Then, like clockwork, I reached down into my little silver clutch and pulled out the familiar golden cylinder. Lips wide open. And smoothed it over my already fully outlined lips.
“Cass!”
I looked to the left of the mirror and saw Sam in the doorway. Her golden curls bounced off her shoulder, and her blue satin dress practically shimmered under the glow of the sink lights. The line of waiting girls glared at her as Sam pranced over to me in her black heels. “Why the hell are you taking so long?”
“Can’t a girl have some alone time in the bathroom?” I said, smiling, as I stuffed my lipgloss back into my clutch.
“Well, we’re here to dance! Not stare at ourselves in the bathroom all day.” She grabbed my arm and started pulling me away from the sink. “I can’t dance out there without you, you know.”
The song that had been playing ended and the DJ was now playing a high-energy electronic dance beat.
My heart danced faster.
Hand in hand, we swam through a sea of sweaty bodies and found our group of friends. Talia was dancing with John, her boyfriend. Austin and Serg were standing nearby, a beer in their hands, scanning the room and chatting. They were near the front of the club, where the DJ was nodding his head vigorously to the beat. I felt my eardrums vibrate and winced.
“Hey! Back!” Sam yelled in their direction, and both Austin and Serg waved back.
“There she is,” Austin said with a smile. His black hair gelled back like an Asian G-Eazy. His white dress shirt hugged his body tightly. “I thought you ran off with a guy or something.”
I shook my head and laughed. “I haven’t seen anyone I’d want to dance with here.”
Austin laughed. “You just gotta go in and you’ll meet people.” He took a swig from his beer as Serg nodded. “And Paul’s here, by the way.”
“Really?” I said, as my pulse quickened. My neck jolted forward as I looked around. “Where?” I asked.
“Look,” Serg said, nodding his head in the direction in front of us. Then I saw the familiar smile. Standing with a group of guy friends at a table, Paul Li was in a tight blue collared shirt. He was pouring a massive Grey Goose into a tiny shot glass. Typical, I mused.
“Oh my god,” I said, feeling my face get warm. Paul was tall for an Asian guy. Dressed well. When I sat next to him at a friend’s birthday dinner in SoHo about half a year ago, we started talking about how we both hated the dating scene in New York City and couldn’t cook (we both apparently only knew how to cook cereal). He laughed a lot. He had this confident but subtle charisma about him. And he cracked these jokes, cheesy as they were, that made me laugh. As the dinner went along, I felt my stomach twist and turn.
“You should go talk to him!” Sam said, laughing. “Go for it! You stalk his Instagram way too much.”
“No, I’m definitely not going to walk up to his table and talk to him,” I shot back, wondering how she could suggest something like that. “That’d be so embarrassing.”
Sam sighed and both Austin and Serg shook their heads.
“Hey, you’re a twenty-first century woman,” Austin said with a smile. “He’d love it if you went up first. Trust me. I’m a guy.”
I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I looked back at his table and saw that Paul was walking away and waving at someone. My eyes searched the crowd. Then they landed on the long, straightened brown hair, glistening under the colors emanating from the stage. She wore a red strapless dress and black stilettos, a big smile on her face as she walked up and gave Paul a big hug. Even in the dark club, where everyone looked practically like a shadow, there seemed to be a subtle glow on Elyssa Wang.
I met Elyssa at a house party a year or so ago. When she walked in, the first thing I noticed was the party sort of paused and all eyes seemed to be on her. She had seemed nice, though annoyingly beautiful and skinny. Then, I found out she graduated from Harvard, worked at a top private equity firm and had two-hundred thousand Instagram followers. One especially desperate night, I actually stayed up until three in the morning stalking all her Instagram photos, making sure not to like any. I couldn’t find a single bad photo of her. And that made me hate her even more.
Rumors of guys taking her to Michelin-starred restaurants for their first date, or buying her Tiffany necklaces were beside the point. Girls wanting to be her friend, secretly trying to be like her. Austin and Serg admitting that they had massive crushes on her and even that time I fought with my ex-boyfriend about his Instagram DMs with her were all beside the point.
The thing was, I loved eating pints of ice-cream while watching Parks and Recreation alone in my apartment more than anything. I had studied law in college, interned at a government agency my junior summer, hated it, and suddenly didn’t know what to do with my life. I posted unfiltered photos of me drunk-eating Joe’s at three am. I realized I felt myself the most when I was in leggings dancing crazily to ‘I Write Sins Not Tragedies’ by Panic! At the Disco at home instead of dancing around in a tight dress at the club. Slowly, I knew the point was…that I could never, ever be Elyssa Wang. And with a knot in my stomach, I told myself I didn’t want to.
“Ok, Cass, if you’re not going to dance with Paul, then dance with me!” Sam grabbed my hands and started jumping up and down.
I tried jumping but my feet felt too sore. I suddenly felt too heavy. I looked over and saw Paul pouring Elyssa a shot of Grey Goose. Elyssa had that annoyingly perfect smile on her face, looking happy to see him. I winced.
I looked back at Sam and said, “Hey, Sam, I’ll be back. I just need a minute.”
Sam stopped jumping up and down and frowned. “Really? Are you feeling ok?”
I nodded. “Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be back soon.” Then, I turned and tried not to wobble too much as I made my way out of the club.
Source: Giphy.com
The night air was crisp. There was still a big crowd of people waiting to get into the club. It was chaotic, too noisy, as the bouncers yelled at the crowd. So annoying, I thought.
I walked to the side and leaned against the brick wall of the club. I pulled out my phone. Through the reflection of the screen, I saw slightly smudged lines sitting above my eyelashes. I leaned in closer. Sweat droplets bubbled from my temples and moistness stubbornly nested above my matte face powder. The muted beats from the song they were playing now nagged behind me.
“Hey, do you have a light?”
With a jump, I looked up. I stared right at the high-cheek bones and perfectly groomed eyebrows I knew too well. She had a cigarette between two fingers and was fumbling in her black Chanel boy bag.
“No, sorry,” I said to Elyssa.
“Oh, no worries. I found it.” She took out a little black square, swiped down and a little flame illuminated her face. She covered the flame with her hands as the end of the cigarette combusted. I watched as she took a big drag and deep inhaled, the gray smoke seeping into her nostrils.
“God, it’s insane in there, isn’t it?” she asked, staring ahead. I wasn’t sure if she was talking to herself or asking me.
I hesitated. “Um, yeah.”
“Right?” Elyssa said, chuckling. “Honestly, if it weren’t for my friend’s birthday, I wouldn’t be here. Like, why is it that we live in a big fucking city like New York City and the only thing we could think of was going to Elements?” She shook her head. “Sorry,” she said, laughing. “You must think I’m crazy. I’m Elyssa, by the way.”
I nodded, ignoring the fact that I knew all about her but she had no idea who I was. “I’m Cass. We actually met a year ago at a house party.”
“Oh no way! Whose was it?” She took another long drag, the smoke circling around us. It smelled a little fruity. My nose scrunched up and I wanted to fan the smoke away but stopped myself.
“I think…Todd and Jason’s,” I replied.
“Oh, Todd and Jason! Yeah, they’re great. Todd’s good friends with my roommate.” Then, Elyssa tilted her head and looked up. “God, I don’t know. I don’t know if I should go back,” she said with a little laugh. “How bad would it be if I just Irish exited?”
I chuckled. “I actually thought about that, too.”
“Right? Yeah, it’s just. I dunno,” she said, flicking the ashes off of her cigarette. “I get so anxious. Like, full-blown panic attacks. I’m just tired of the whole thing, you know. Did you know it took me almost two hours to get ready? Just for this.” She waved her hand.
“I’m sorry,” I said, not really sure what to say. “I’d rather be at home, chilling, too, to be honest.”
“Yeah, oh my god. Me too. Work’s been so insane lately, and I’m definitely going to have to work this entire weekend. And to think that the one free night I had I just got wasted and danced with friends and some random strangers. I just feel like I’m supposed to be enjoying it all but inside there are volcanos erupting.” She laughed, throwing her head back a little. “Sorry, I don’t even know if I’m making sense.”
“No, no, you are,” I said. “I think I know what you mean. Sometimes I just feel like a shadow bouncing around in there.”
“Yes! That’s exactly it. A shadow. An outline. I just feel like…it’s just work, work, go out, and repeat. Sometimes I swear I’m going to quit my job because I hate it so much.”
I nodded, just listening.
“I work in finance and wish I never took my first summer banking internship.” She paused. “Wish I had fucking, I don’t know. Anything. Fashion, maybe even culinary school. I feel like I just woke up one day and I was suddenly twenty-five. And the whole time all I did was stare at Excel spreadsheets.” Elyssa took one last puff and threw her cigarette to the ground, stamping it out with her black stiletto. “Anyway, thanks for listening. Sorry I went on such a rant.”
“No, it’s okay. Really. I mean, I don’t work in finance, but honestly I think I know what you mean.”
“Oh, what do you do?”
“I work at a healthcare startup now, but I’m interviewing. I flew to SF last weekend and am actually going back next weekend for another interview.”
“Oh, nice! God, that sounds so busy though — the flying back and forth. What positions are you interviewing for?”
“Strategy positions, mostly,” I said. I felt my phone buzzing but ignored it.
“Very cool. Well, good luck,” Elyssa said, flashing one of her famous smiles. “By the way, what’s your Insta?”
I told her, and she typed around on her phone. It felt strange, the thought of adding her, though I already stalked all her photos.
“Ok, just added you.” Then Elyssa’s phone buzzed — someone was calling her. “Well, guess I should get back. Want to come join me and my friends?”
“Thanks, that sounds fun,” I said. “But I just need another minute. I’ll see you inside.”
Elyssa nodded, smiling. “Ok, see you soon.” Then, answering her phone, she turned around and walked back into Elements.
I opened up my phone and saw along with two missed calls from Sam and one from Austin, Elyssa’s request on Instagram. It was from a private account, though — not the public Instagram account with hundreds of thousands of followers. This account had only two-hundred followers, and her profile picture was of her sitting on the grass in Central Park. I accepted the request and saw an assortment of food and travel pics, and pictures of her family. She still looked beautiful.
I stared at one picture of her sitting next to a river.
For a second, I hesitated. Then, I hit like on the photo and looked back up at the starry night sky.
Hey there ☺️ Thanks again for reading! Hit me up if you have any feedback or want to share anything. Otherwise, I’ll see you at next week’s post!
If you’re enjoying these posts, you can subscribe now and get access to exclusive content in the future.
Love,
Shannon